They Are Only Bad Dreams

There is a great quote from Marcus Aurelius in his book Meditations, one of the most influential works of Stoicism:

Clear your mind and get a hold on yourself and, as when awakened from sleep and realizing it was only a bad dream upsetting you, wake up and see that what’s there is just like those dreams.

When going through divorce, we have a tendency to be fearful about what the future holds for us. For most men, it centers around the uncertainty of what life is going to look like moving forward.

Many of the things that we become worried about are to some degree a product of an overactive imagination and not what reality itself will end up looking like. Just like a bad dream, our concerns about the future are vivid and realistic but preposterous once we come out of it. When you’re dreaming, you never ask yourself if any of it makes sense; you just go along with the experience of the dream. Unfortunately this poor logic applies to our extreme emotions too.

The fundamental challenge is that when you get upset, angry, emotional or fearful about the future, it’s like your continuing a dream while you’re awake. The event that provoked you was not real, however your reaction to it was. From the fake, come real consequences which have the power to hurt.

Please, wake up from these bad dreams now instead of creating a nightmare for yourself and those around you. Your mind is very powerful so remember…with great power comes great responsibility.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Start living it NOW!

Matt